Anxiety of Life... (Unlived Life...)

Like a word that eludes the tongue.. Like a star in the sky that glitters in the eyes but can't be reached.. Like the sound of silence that can't be heard.. Like that emotional music that doesn't stop except when mostly needed to be forever heard.. Like that dreamy dawn that can't be spent, not even in dreams.. Like the ocean that has no end though it can't fill you.. Like the feeling you wished to have but never had.. Like that only thing you wished to do & never did.. Like a bird that can't fly.. Like a beautiful flower that you can't hold.. Like a thought that can't be explained.. A feeling that can't be felt.. Like looking at the heavenly beauty of this universe & see nothing but vain.. Like a dream away of reach even while dreaming.. Like looking at the skyline* & no end in sight.. Like tears that ain't able to flow.. or neither let go.. Like a thirsty soul that endlessly searching for water by chasing mirages.. Like a lost soul in a lost world that can never be found.. A story that can't be told.. It's just like a life that can't be lived...

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* Skyline here means the 'horizon'.  

The Other Side

Sometimes I discover that I'm trying to kill the time that's already flying like crazy! Why is this happening!! I actually never have free time to waste or search for ways to kill it.. Then I realized that I'm escaping... escaping from myself... from life.. Yes that's true.. Sometimes we escape ourselves more than we escape others.. maybe because others don't know about ourselves as much as we do!
They don't see the other side of us.. the side of us that's more sad.. more grieved.. more miserable.. more suffering.. normally that side is never shown as it truly is.. specially when everyone around you expect the contrary.. expect that you are strong..never giving up.. when they depend on you more & more.. when they give you the feeling that they are like deriving their motivation or optimism from you.. when they see that you have always been the meaning of hope.. when they see that you've always given them an example of success.. It's hard after all this that you be the example of failure! It's hard to raise the white flag when everyone expect you to be a warrior!! You can't give up when they think your hope & optimism is endless! You can't let them down! You can't destroy that image.. or rather you don't wish to destroy it cause you also love it.. you as well like them expect the same things from yourself.. You mostly don't want to destroy that image in your own eyes.. They all the time drew that role for you & you loved it & kept playing it.. till it became part of you.. became you.. you believed it & addicted this role in life..
But somehow sometimes you forget that you are just HUMAN you aren't superman! And because you forget.. & you think for a momemt you're a superman and that you are able to take beyond what HUMANS can bear.. many times all your pain is gone by unnoticed by everyone around.. remains unknown to anybody.. it's that hard to acknowledge the pain.. to even confess to yourself sometimes that you feel it.. that you're suffering from it.. If it's that hard to admit that the other side do exist within us.. Is it that hard to admit that we are HUMANS...